Exploration

Exploration is a major subtext of my life. And yet it has not been exploration as an end in itself, but as a means for experiencing the unknown first-hand, and as a result obtaining a piece of the meaning puzzle.

At the age of 22 I abandoned the version of Christianity that dominated the lives of my parents, and for the next 15 years my view of the Christian perspective was generally one of critical skepticism. During all of this time I searched and struggled to make sense of the world as I found it. Though it was nearly imperceptible to me then, I did make steady progress as I explored and examined a wide range of philosophical and theological approaches. An unexpected result of this somewhat arduous, and for many years a quite liminal philosophical state, was the discovery of something that might be described as Christian enlightenment.

Having arrived at an internally consistent sense of meaning and understanding has for me been a great blessing, and yet one that is virtually impossible to convey to others who have not themselves arrived at a similar point of view.

And then I learned about the emergent church. At the last Sierra Pacific ELCA synod assembly I was introduced to these ideas and a light went on. As a result I took the initiative to learn about the viewpoint, values, and philosophy of the emergent church and to explore the meaning and relevance of postmodern culture.

For me there was an immediate sense of resonance with the things I was learning. However, as I attempted to convey this new understanding to the other members of my ELCA church I found the response was frequently one of skepticism and even scorn. Nonetheless the pastor and spiritual gifts minister were receptive so I initiated a weekly seminar to study the ideas and implications of postmodernity, the end of Christendom, the decline of the institutional church, and the dominant philosophy of the emergent church.

After about 8 weeks there continues to be regular attendees at this seminar and a level of genuine interest, albeit mixed with some confusion and apprehension. While it has been a little sobering to see these ideas received with such reticence, I am at the same time encouraged to see what seems to be slow but yet steady progress in communicating what I have learned.

This is one of the benefits of experience. I know what it is to struggle and grow in ways that are virtually imperceptible in the short term.